I Love You, Colonel Sanders! (PC) Review
Updated: Oct 31, 2022
Developer: Psyop
Publisher: KFC
Release Date: September 24, 2019
Platforms: PC
Overview: For years the people have waited to learn about the Colonel with the finely shaped goatee. The man that oozes the warmest drumstick sweat from his decadent 11 mystery herbs and spices. Dreams certainly came true for a few chicken-loving, gravy guzzlers with the release of an official KFC Finger Lickin' Good Dating Simulator.
Do not let The Colonel's gaze fool you, his affection is hard to earn. I tumbled and toiled through our culinary school romance for a little over an hour before I finally caught a fleeting glimpse of hope. The Colonel is not a man that can be tied down easily, there are rivals contending for his affection, and childhood best friends that get in the way with their side stories that I do not care about because all I can think about is me and Colonel wrestling in a pit of coleslaw. What's a bit of biscuit choking right?❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Story: Enrolled in culinary school with childhood best friend and some bullies. Make inconsequential dialogue options to progress the story and try to smash Colonel Sanders by the end of the semester.
Gameplay: Click, click, and more clicking. Occasional questions are asked that you must get right to try and smash Colonel Sanders by the end of the semester.
Presentation: Presented as a graphic novel that has humorous moments, but ultimately nothing spectacular in terms of environments or character designs. Only Colonel Sanders stands out since he is the one you must smash before the end of the semester.
Final Verdict: 4/10
Ok, ok, although the objective of the game is to smash The Colonel, it's actually a little tougher than I thought it would be. There are quite a few choices you must make, and I made many wrong choices that led to many game-overs. The player sort of has to pay attention to what Colonel Sanders likes in an individual to try and progress. Otherwise, it's just a guessing game and hoping you don't mess up to re-do 3 minutes of dialogue.
The game has pretty art and they definitely focused around making The Colonel look as awesome as possible compared to every other character. Outside of that, the game really doesn't have much going for it, even by graphic novel standards. The writing is fairly bland and the characters only have 1-2 expressions when they show up to continue being bland.
I Love You, Colonel Sanders! has 3 different endings and various dialogue branches that add some replayability to the 1-hour game. There are random moments where the game goes off the wall, and those moments of zaniness are the highlights of an otherwise shallow dating sim. Unless you REALLY love KFC or REALLY want to smash Colonel Sanders, it's tough to recommend this game to a civilized person.
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